Let me clear the air & remove any doubt that I am even worthy of such a friend, let alone that it be her. Some of my past friendships crumbled as many are prone to do as a result of the ending of high school, or moving out of state, or the unavoidable status of just outgrowing each other. It happens to us all. A handful of other past friendships were blown to smithereens by my own selfishness, immaturity, & spite. To say that these lost friendships are as a millstone hung around my neck, is to say much about the heaviness that sits on my soul even to this very day & one that I cannot remove.
Our friendship began easily enough but it was the night that I was able to open up to her about this subject of lost friendships that endeared me to her for all time. The evolution from the neighbor coming over to ask me to zip up her dress to sharing of dinner because we both liked to cook but really didn't have anyone to cook for, was hesitant & nervous on my behalf because I kind of didn't want to befriend her. I was still pretty hard on myself for ruining the last friendships I had & I didn't want to drag her down into the same pit of hell. Yes, yes, yes, I know how dramatic that sounds, but most of the prior 5 years of my life had enough drama to script a Spanish soap opera.
So it began easily enough & it was easy to maintain because we lived right next door to each other & one quarter of our apartments was a shared wall. I'd hear her sneeze & could holler "Bless you" & she'd hear me. Later, our pets got so friendly that they would "talk" to each other through that same shared wall. We started a girls' night when we realized we watched the same tv show ("Project Runway") & that tradition included other girls & my little circle of friends began to grow. She's expanded my horizon on such topics as the arts, the importance of fashion, & being more envirnomentally self-conscious. I can totally blame her for making me take notice of how important the arts are (especially to kids), by making me more aware of my own appearance & how not to judge others for taking a fashion risk, & how to grow compost & go the extra mile to the recycling facility because we don't have curbside recycling.
We've had a lot of fun moments together & to list them all here would be too self-serving. Suffice it to say that she's been there through some of the roughest times of my life & she's helped me make some of the toughest decisions I've ever faced. She was the first one I told about Fina because - other than Clint - she was probably going to be the only other person who would feel the same heartache & pain I was going through. One of her finest moments was crawling under our old house to get Stubbs out because he had been hit by a car. I'll never forget that night as I drove them to the vet, or the embarassment of that neighborhood cat being in pain, in a pet carrier, & letting us know how unhappy he was by doing his business right then & there, or the wait spent pacing back & forth in the vet lobby. What impressed me the most was the unblinking acceptance she had when the vet came out, told us the diagnosis (& correpsonding fee), & her unwaivering attitude that this little stray was now going to be hers to take care of while he recovered. Boom - right there and then, without a second thought, she accepted the six weeks he would be in a carrier, the costs of the surgery & meds, the tough recuperation, & the fact that this little life was now hers to protect. That's just who she is & that's just what she does.
I've told Clint before that he has saved my life but it's been Erika that has made that new life so enjoyable. She's one of those people that truly doesn't judge others & she has never once condemned me for my actions or thoughts. I'm reminded of a catechism lesson of not trying to convert someone to your faith, but to let your light shine & to let the life you lead be the truest expression of your faith. And I can see her rolling her eyes at all this because she's a pretty humble person as well. Weirdest thing is that we've never had a fight or even a huge disagreement. She let's you do your own thing on your own time & like Fina, has a very gentle nature. She'll be there to help pick up the pieces & to help you figure out where you went wrong. I've been down that road with her many times before. It's easy as pie to open up to her & she will give you advice, even if it's not exactly what you wanted to hear. She's not as bluntly honest as I am & I know her unique way of being couth has rubbed off on me. For instance, the act of being a lady is just an act for me in many social aspects but for her, it all comes natural. And what a lady; she doesn't even kiss & tell!!
Moving in with Clint was going to be hard enough with the new job, new city, sharing space with him, & everything else that came along with it but the only issue that kept me up at nights was her. How was I going to feel when she wasn't there any more? How was she going to feel? Would we still see each other & be friends? If so, how often? Would we have more to talk about or less? I had lived right next door to her for years & I was only moving half an hour away but I knew this could change the whole dynamic of our relationship. Of course we talked about it & we both understood that it wasn't going to be the end of the world but that it was necessary for me to take the next step in my relationship with Clint.
Now it's been a little over a year since I've made the move, lost the job I had once I moved out here, went through the hell that is a five month unemployment, discovered that I really don't like this little slice of the South that is Ascension parish, realized that B.R. will always be where my heart is, lost the love of my life & an attempt at getting through that loss, exclaimed that I'm totally in love with Clint & gone engagement ring shopping, & she's been right there the whole time. The move may have strengthened our friendship & cemented the fact that she's the best girl in the whole world.
I rest assured that I'll be the one staying up late with her when her boyfriend decides to go out of state for graduate school, that she will be the one beaming at me as I walk down the aisle, that I'll be getting a call to come over quickly because Stubbs isn't feeling well, & we'll have many, many years of ups & downs, good times and bad, filled with lots of happiness & laughs, tears, & hugs. I appreciate her every morning I wake up & say a little prayer for her every night & think about her with a smile on my heart. My life is truly better for having the best friend in the world & the sisterly love that comes with it!
(me & eekat psyching ourselves up to go perform with the Babycakes!!)
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