Dogs leave paw prints on our hearts

This pic may seem a little random at first but this smudge is actually the last paw print left by the love of my life for the last 10 years, Fina. Most will say they have the best dog ever, & that is absolutely true regardless of the breed or the person. Everyone has the best dog ever.

I've always known that I would have only one true love of my life & only one true canine companion. Fina (her full name is Seraphina Marie) fulfilled both of those roles beyond my wildest expectations. She was the best dog ever. Ever take those quizzes that ask if you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be? My answer was always her. She had the kind of personality that I always strove for, & it came naturally to her. She was very sweet, compassionate, friendly, & had a truly generous heart. I felt such a strong connection to her so many times in our shared life, that I would some times think she could read my mind & my heart. Yes, she had her "faults" as well but they were quite endearing. Like many dogs, she was scared of thunderstorms & many nights would climb into my bed & pant in my face until I woke up. She was also a master mooch - a habit I could never break her of. And she was quite the jealous girl as well, always making sure she had the number one spot in my heart if any other animal came around.



"Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog" is an old saying but one I'll never completely understand since I've had Fina since she was a pup. My grandfather had found her on the side of the road near his house, & knowing how fond I was of animals (& that I had just moved out on my own, leaving my first dog behind with my parents), he knew I would fall in love with her the instant I laid eyes on her. She was just a little blonde ball of fluff that liked to chew on my shoe laces when we first met & insisted on sitting in my lap for the ride home. She grew up quickly & we were never separated for more than a few days at most. Some of the most important decisions of my life were made with her in mind.

Fina had such an impact & such a hold on my heart that I some times wondered how I would ever be able to be without her. It has been very tough adjusting to her being gone & there's always the feeling that she's just out of my line of sight. But she's always on my mind & has left very large paw prints on my heart. I miss her terribly & still haven't been able to pack up her things to donate to the animal shelter. And I fall victim to the sudden rememberances of how she felt when I would scratch under her chin or how she was uncomfortable when you tried to look into her eyes or the Fina tumbleweeds that her long hair would collect in corners or the mad chases across the yard when she would take off after a rabbit or us snuggling in the closet when Hurricane Gustav was trying to rip the roof off our house.

I'm not the only one who loved Fina - or whom Fina loved for that matter. She had a great auntie (Erika) who had a great kitty (Stubbs) that would take care of her when needed & who loved her dearly. Erika was the first person I told about her passing & I know Erika feels her loss just as deeply as I do. Fina also had the best grandfolks in the world. My parents have 4 dogs, 3 of their own & 1 foster. My dad & I had talked a few months before Fina passed & we both agreed that once "our" dogs were gone, we wouldn't get any more, they would continue doing rescue & fostering but that would be it. Fina also had the capacity to turn Clint into a dog person. I'm glad he got to know her in the short time (okay, 2 & a half years) he did, & I'm so thankful that he was there for me & her during those last few hours.

Which might as well bring me to my final points. Fina was 10 years old but she was very happy & strong & had no health issues at all. She was here one day & gone the next with no indication that there was ever anything wrong. I went to work that morning, everything was fine; I came home after work & she was mopey & not her usual chipper self. So, we took her to the emergency vet later that evening when we noticed she was a bit lethargic & things weren't quite right. We went in thinking maybe it was a digestive issue, say constipation or a blockage, but the diagnosis was that she had a mass in her abdomen, attached to her spleen. This had ruptured during the day & she had massive internal bleeding. The mass was caused by a very aggressive & ugly cancer that left very few options. The vets could have done their best to perform a surgery to stop the bleeding & remove the mass (if they could stablize her) but she would have to undergo chemotherapy & more future surgeries to remove the masses that were going to continue to pop up. The best possible outcome would have been only 3 months.

It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make but I know it was the right one. I loved her so much & she trusted me to take care of her that I was able to make the decision rather quickly. I could not bear to see her in any pain & cherished her too much to make her go through it. We were able to spend some time with her to say good bye & the vets were very compassionate & caring. We took our time to tell her how much we loved her & how much we would miss her & how sorry we were to see her go. The last thing I said to her was "thank you." I am truly thankful that she was a part of my life for as long as she was & truly grateful for her gentle spirit that made my life as enjoyable as she could in her little doggie ways.

If you have a pet of any kind, please be sure to give them a hug & a kiss on their head from me (& one for yourself while you're at it). Animals depend on us for so many things & the love you receive from your pet(s) is such that you will never experience from another human. I can only speak from the perspective of having dogs but the loyalty, devotion, & love I received from them has been unmatched so far by any other. Fina will be deeply missed but I would not have changed a thing about our life together & will always miss the unconditional and selfless love she gave to me.